The Strange Feelings

"The Uncomfortable Feeling" is the worst type of all the feelings I daresay. I can tolerate guilt, boredom, envy, inferiority complex, embarrassment and some other mild feelings, but The Uncomfortable Feeling wins hands down. I write about this because I did something in college - and I shall certainly not describe what - which has got me this itchy feeling. To be more clear, it was something which others might not have found stupid or strange, but I, for one, did find it so. I dunno if anyone of you ever did something goofy and then had this feeling at the back of your mind nudging you the entire day, reminding you of that moment making you wish you hadn't done it. And you are like 'Arrgh! Tomorrow, I'm gonna take some corrective steps and act really cool.' If only there was a mental eraser! I would have erased that incident first from others' memory and then mine.

Boredom is a valuable feeling. I can't say it for others, but when I am bored, I tend to introspect a lot. It can be probably because when you are so bored to do anything or can't think of what you can do, you just sit back and stare into space or potter about on Facebook. I advanced to a higher level of boredom some days back. I got bored even of Facebook. I couldn't stand reading what my friends were becoming fans of. Either it's 'someone became a fan of talking on the last bench' or '... became a fan of I don't like it when people don't reply to my messages quickly'. I am so sick of it that I don't care to elaborate on it further. Facebook really changed my daily life. Initially, with Orkut, where you had hardly anything to pass your time with, you couldn't get so addicted. And it was possible to log off after a while. But with Facebook I had this compulsive habit of commenting on some or the other post, diligently ploughing on Farmville, playing Social Interview and many other petty applications. I must really warn those who are reading this and if they can identify themselves with with this trait, that this habit can suck the real qualities out of you. I can't remember the last time when I read a book for at least two hours at a stretch. I have been trudging along with the fat novel Atlas Shrugged for almost an eternity now. The fact is, all this time, while I had been glued to Facebook, I did not realise that instead of curing my boredom I was aggravating it. I have nothing against Facebook, and don't even understand how this post strayed on to be so anti-FB but somehow Facebook and Boredom are two words I can easily co-relate. My reading habit has taken such a blow that I can actually see for myself that this post is the worst ever till now when it comes to content, creativity and style. Detestable!

Another feeling is the 'Yearning for Solitude'. Remember those times, when you were traveling to college or work, and just wanted to be busy with your thoughts when your hyper-enthusiastic friend appeared out of nowhere beaming like a Miss World? It's physically painful when the guy goes on blabbering on topics you are least interested to even think about. I sometimes wonder during such times if I, too, ever was so thick that I couldn't take the hint to shut up when the other person was keeping mum. This Yearning for Solitude Feeling may arise because of many things: a sour incident, bad mood, fight with someone and so on. And when you are in a blissful solitude you are actually nursing or self-healing your bad mood. When you have had a satisfactory time in solitude, you are fresh enough to be social again. However, this feeling should not be confused with reclusiveness. Yearning for Solitude is perfectly natural. For the ripples in the lake to settle into a still surface it is better if there blew not even a breeze.

The Simple Christmas

It was already eleven when Lock left the store. It was Christmas eve and he had to attend to several customers with their Christmas shopping that day. The store resembled an adorable shop from toy-land with strings of lights stretching along the walls and over the windows. They had a huge Christmas tree set right in the middle of the floor. It was grander than the last year's. Lock, the other assistants and the store-owner had decorated it together. At night, it looked so stunning through the windows that passers-by would actually come in to admire it.

When Lock stepped out in the December chill, he noticed the winter this year was less harsh. But it was cold enough to be a good company for his hot coffee at home. He was going to brew a steaming cup of coffee for himself, he had decided. The Christmas eve dinner at the store was filling; the store-owner had a good taste in wine.

That day Lock had bought a shiny Christmas tree star to place it atop his Christmas tree. He was excited about it and he couldn't wait to show it to Lia. She would certainly love it. Their old one had to be powered by electricity and did not look much appealing. He was sure this one would light up the entire room on its own... and also Lia's eyes.

The living room looked warm in the glow of the Christmas tree. Lia had decorated the tree beautifully with colourful Christmas balls, light bulbs and tiny figurines of reindeer and a portly Santa Claus in a sledge. When Lock placed the new star at the top of the tree, it seemed as if Santa Claus with his entourage of reindeer were flying up towards it. He placed his gifts under the tree beside Lia's and looked around the room. He loved his home.

Lia had already dozed off to in the bedroom while reading a book. Lock silently settled on the couch feeling the warm china cup and relishing the silent glow of the only ornament in the room: the Christmas tree. The warmth of the first draught that spread through his body was what he had longed for while walking back home.

Lia appeared at the living-room door.

'Hey, did I wake you up?' asked Lock.

'No, I was waiting for you. You seem to have had a long day.'

He nodded. Lia snuggled up with him in his arms.

'Try the coffee,' Lock offered. 'The beans are some new arrivals of the season at the store.'

'Mmm!' said Lia as she took a sip. 'They are perfectly roasted.'

A beep from his wristwatch told them it was midnight. It was Christmas. The glow of the new star now seemed magically radiant. He realised that it was the warmth of Lia against him that he had actually yearned for while walking back home.

'Happy Christmas, Lock,' whispered Lia, as she rested her head on his shoulders.

He lovingly kissed her hair, 'Happy Christmas, dearest.'

Random Rambling 2

I like the way my Random Rambling posts come about to me. They are nothing but the thinking of my hands. Yes, my hands and not my brain. If I were to think by my brain, I'd give a thought a thought and then some more thought to make it sound interesting and add a thought provoking example to make it more thoughtful. Yes, brain-power is complicated. I guess there is still an on-going research on how a brain actually functions. Scientists have still not found out what it is in the brain that "thinks". I think the Brain is really smart. Scientists found out how the universe originated, right? How did they do it? They used their Brain. They invented vaccinations against several diseases using their Brain. Their Brain works on other people when it comes to interpreting the behaviour of a criminal or a dyslexic child. To cut the meandering short, the Brain can decode anything and anyone. But it can't decode itself. Can you cut your own hair? I think not; you need to go to a salon for that. Can you give a massage to yourself? No! Hence, probably even a scientist will be unable to unravel the mysteries of the Brain by using his own brain. We work not because of the Brain, but we are the Brain. So it is little dorky of us to probe the brain and try to understand it. (Almost) everything in this universe is within the analytical realms of our Brain. If it is so smart a thing, why would it analyse itself? Can we design a robot which can un-assemble itself to scratch and then restore itself back again to its working-self? I think the Brain is just too brainy to come out in the open within the grasp of the lewdly ambitious scientists. For that I think we need avail the services of some extra-terrestrial being or someone without a brain and something else in its place. There! Case Closed! Either my brain is dead and smelly like a fossil to come up with crap like that or it is the representative leader of all the brains - smart and stupid - in the world, because it just saved them all from the exposure to the brainless humans.

Speaking of brains, I say people must start using them while giving their opinions. An Opinion is one thing that is the most wrongly priced commodity in today's times and it also does not depend in any way on the inflation index. One person's Opinion can be precious; it can change the way others think. Other person's opinion can be useless. Take a newspaper poll, for example. If Pakistan is tampering with its missiles (obtained from US) and targeting them on India, why should the common people be asked for their opinion on whether it is safe or unsafe? It is a stupid question in the first place. Why not share with us the opinion of the Indian and American nuclear scientists and (brainy) politicians? The newspaper did write about it, I don't deny. It's just that I care more for the opinion of such people... who are inside the loop. I don't think my opinion would have been influenced in anyway by the results of the poll. A minority did say in the poll that it is not a matter of concern, while a majority said it is. Does that mean, that our concern should be heightened or lowered by the percentage division of these polls? Can we say, 'Eh! There's a 24% chance that it's nothing dangerous, we need not worry'? or 'Oh my god! there is a 98% chance we can be struck with their missile, I hope the 2% chance turns out to be true.'? NO! We can't say stuff like that because like it or not, there's a missile dangling loosely above your head, we better not fiddle with it or it might just go - BOOM! In this case, it is the useless opinion that is asked for. I am intelligent enough to form a conclusion by myself and do not need an opinion of someone who is as stupid as me to support it. Worse than this are those who vote for 'can't say'! What kind of opinion is that? If you don't know what 'you can say' then just don't vote, as simple as that. It's but an Opinion wasted. Anyways, this is my opinion about Opinion and I don't want anyone's opinion about it.

A Pure-Blood or a Muggle?

If there's anything that irks a Harry Potter fan, it is those people who claim they are "HP fans" too because "they have seen all the movies, and find Emma Watson really hot". These are the morons, desperate to be counted amongst the in-crowd, who have not read even a single book of the series but try to jump onto the bandwagon when the Harry Potter rage sweeps the world (in the form of a book or a movie release). The basic differences between a true Harry Potter fan and a wanna-be fan/non-reader are these:

1. The true fans have read all the books and are more insane about the book than the movie.

2. If the adaptation of the book to the movie is not perfect, the true fans frown upon it. The phoney ones are just happy with the amount of special effects and Hermione's length of role in the movie. Even then, the true fans do like the movie, because after all, it's a Harry Potter Movie and a standard visualisation to their imagination.

3. The true fans separate themselves from the wanna-be's by calling themselves pure-blooded and the wanna-be's, Muggles. But among themselves they dare not call each other even pure-blooded because that's a premise of only the magical world.

4. For the true fans a Harry Potter movie is different from any usual English movie. And they hate it if a critic (who's most of the times a non-reader) rates the movie as any other English movie. They believe it's none of the Muggles' business to give their opinion about Harry Potter as only their own opinion matters the most and is exclusive.

5. The true fans understand an insiders' joke in the movie, while the phoney laugh along as and when the audience laughs.

6. The true fans are peeved when Michael Gambon dramatically brandishes his wand, unnecesarily. The lesser-witted ones are awed by his style.

7. The true fans know who Michael Gambon played in the movie. The wanna-be's are clueless.

8. Some of the true fans start a countdown many days before the release of the movie. Those who don't sheepishly admit that they didn't think of starting one, but admire the mania of their brethren. The Muggles ask the pure-blooded "kaunsa part aa raha hai" and take their girl/boy friends to the movie. The fans obviously watch the movie with their like-minded friends only.

9. A real fan will be physically annoyed when Ron's character acts like a joker in the movie reduced to a mere side-kick to the brave Harry and the intelligent Hermione. They know the real Ron in the book is actually a fiercely loyal friend to Harry and someone who always loved Hermione and no one else (unlike the way Harry had a serious thing for Cho) and not just a friend to be a butt of all jokes and embarrassments in the movie. The wanna-be fans will laugh at Ron and will not realise that most of Ron's important dialogues from the book are blabbered by Emma Watson.

That was that, now decide which camp you belong to.

What's in the Name? Dude, Everything!

What's in the name, you ask? Well, I'd say Shakespeare had no sense of sound-vision synchronisation. I was mighty pissed off by the unnecessary and juvenile brouhaha over naming of the newly made sea-link on the Bombay seaside. To be frank I really liked the name The Bandra-Worli Sea Link or just The BWSL. It suits the structure. Take a look at it once, I mean, really take in the majestic view of it standing in the sea. Although it's not some haute couture architectural feat, it's certainly got a definitive style that suits Mumbai. When I saw a picture of the grey python stretching across the sea, belittling the sun behind and rooted firmly in the matching dirty grey waters of the Arabian, the first word that escaped me was 'wicked!' It is a thorough masculine work of construction with no hint of art and beauty. It has got that rugged look that only an engineer devoid of an artistic instinct can give it's baby creation. It's not painted red or yellow or blue on the advice of some nancy designer or astrologer (who btw are dime a dozen here) to supposedly represent the spirit or energy of Mumbai, but it has been left as it is - raw and bare - to camouflage itself with the waters in which it stands sturdily and promisingly.

After this description, what name can one think fits aptly for such a structure? For me The BWSL sounds coolly perfect and so international (I dunno why, but it reminds me of YSL). Of course the article 'The' should be there; it adds to the uniqueness. But no! that is not the same way our politicos look at that structure, apparently. Sharad Pawar, being a perfect toe-licker to Sonia G, wanted it to be named after the Rajiv Gandhi. Omi-farter motormouth Raj Thackeray wanted to name it after Jyotirao Phule or Shahu Maharaj or the Dalit leader Dr Ambedkar.

Now I adequately respect Pawar and Thackeray. I support the latter's ideology and trust the former's intellect as our Agricultural Minister. But I do not endorse their sense of style. OK fine, Rajiv Gandhi was an idol for the youth and will always remain so. Hence, it is rightly an honor to name an award after him and give it to extremely talented individuals. And after all, even a name, especially of a highly honoured man, has a value which depreciates because of over-familiarity. And the name Rajiv Gandhi relates to youth power and reformation (he was the one who ushered in the IT revolution in India). I wouldn't vote for the sea-link to be named after him with all due respect.

And with even extra respect than what is due, just to evade the ire of the sensitive, I would rather vote against the sea-link being named after Jyotirao or Shahu Maharaj or Ambedkar. I see the structure the way I have described above. It's a fixation for me I daresay. Looking up at it, it commands awe and amazement, and hence certainly deserves a name suitable in the same manner. I consider it a sacrilege of the masculinity and a snubbing to the architect's creation if a humongous work of passion, which is also crucial infrastructural achievement, is named Shahu Maharaj Setu or Phule Pool or something tacky of that sort. It's a sea-link for heaven's sake, not a bridge! And how would it sound in an international city like Mumbai where property prices are amongst the highest five in the world, if the sea-link is named after the beacon of the Dalits, Ambedkar? I can even imagine the Dalits swarming the sea-link on Ambedkar jayanti, disrupting the traffic. It's a fat chance that that might happen, but if the tactless ex-CM could introduce chatt poojas in Mumbai, such a fiasco is not beyond imagination.

Anyways, I just hope the foul name-game dies down within a short time, and the people themselves unofficially name it as The Bandra-Worli Sea Link.

The Titanic (the ship) made history with its size that stretched into robust vanity. The vessel was christened as it was, titanic. It wasn't named Queen Elizabeth or Queen Mary. It was named Titanic! The point is that the name does influence how you perceive a particular thing or a person. Probably the ship wouldn't have been as breath-taking had it been called by some other common name. There is a lot in a name. It decides the brand value. It plays with one's involuntary senses when one hears it or says it or reads it and projects an impression that lingers around the object like an aura.

Shakespeare: What's in the name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet!
The Blithering Idiot: My ass! It would have been impossible to visualise Romeo and Juliet as romantic if they were called Ted and Lucy instead.